Peace, Love and Crabs

 

Tonight at Joe's Crab Shack, as I was dining with my district's leadership team, our order took over 45 minutes to come to the table. I am now convinced that the staff at that place spends more time dancing to the cheesy 60's music, underneath the gleam of a twirling disco ball then, serving food! When our food finally made its way past the impromptu Cupid's Shuffle, I was so hungry I went straight for the kill, only to realize an entire 2 bites into my breaded shrimp that....well, I didn't order breaded shrimp.

So, I called the waitress over and reluctantly told her that this wasn't what I ordered. It was reluctant, because despite the fact that I don't like much of anything that's breaded (much less the nasty cod on my plate), I considered eating what was clearly someone else's order because I was that hungry. But, she took it back and I sat for another 10 minutes waiting for my dish, while everyone else around my table cracked their crab shells and moistened their fingers with buttery perfection. But, at least I was comforted in that moment knowing that I had clearly just earned at least 15% off my bill, if not a free double-decker chocolate volcano!

When my bill came, however, it did not include the "our service totally sucked' discount, nor was it attached to the 'we should really not list incompetence as a desired skill in our job description" desert. Hell, I didn't even get an apology.

I thought about complaining, I did. And I am quite certain the acting manager, in her little orange "Peace, Love, and Crabs" tie-died shirt posed no match to me. She looked 12 after all, and I was quite set on that chocolate volcano.

But then I hesitated and I'm glad I did. It occurred to me in that moment that I was about to engage in the very thing that I am often on the receiving end of in my line of work. I could have made a big deal over a minor inconvenience (I mean, really think about some of the inconveniences that some people have to go through in life...hell, I watched my mom go through chemo...NOW that's an inconvenience! waiting 10 extra minutes for some shrimp hardly qualifies as anything more than a minor inconvenience) I could have probably gotten my free desert, but at what expense? So the young guy working the line, dreaming of a better life, but stuck at a little more than minimum wage can listen to the nighttime manager lecture him on his pace and lack of work ethic? Or maybe so the young college-aged waitress can get the same lecture and learn all-too-soon just how unrealistic our expectations are in this world and how unforgiving our nature has become over non-issues?

So, I've learned that principal is synonymous with punching bag. I'm not complaining, it comes with the territory and there isn't a soul connected to education that didn't warn me of this pending doom if I signed the bottom line of an administrative contract. However, the day I became a principal, I didn't stop being a human and so taking punches daily takes a great deal of work. I've had to learn (and quickly) how to deal with what can sometimes be an unforgiving public. I filter complaints daily. Many are legitimate. You have parents step into my office who are genuinely concerned with their child and what is happening in their life 36 hours a week, when they entrust us with them. But, some are unfair, abusive, and downright petty. Some are misguided, some are personal, and some are malicious, and like my dinner experience, there are those who will shut down business in my office to complain about what should have been only a 'minor inconvenience.' It doesn't change how I am trained to respond. Whether legit or whether completely out of line, my professionalism is expected to stay intact. But again, I am human and what my instinct (you know, that survival factor when you are being attacked) is begging me to do is sometimes contrary to what my training dictates. And especially when those attacks have no merit, or when they are triggered by something deeper, something not related school. And so, with every ounce of me, I fight the inner emotions, I listen, I respond, I remain patient and composed, even under fire.

Okay, so where is this all leading? Let's go back to Joe's Crab Shack. I could have complained tonight. I could have had a free meal. I could have, but instead I selected composure and patience. My training dictates I choose this under fire in my job and my experience with those who do not understand either of these traits has taught me the value of both responses in situations of 'minor inconvenience." I have learned not to be so entitled; I have learned not to get all bent out of shape for small things. I reserve my passionate responses for things that really deserve such heat.

I left the restaurant full and happy. I didn't get a free desert. But, well, I got a pretty damn cool blog out of it.

Peace, Love and Crabs, people.